I once read a quote from a sportswriter whose name escapes me now, “Frustration leads to anger; anger to violence. Don’t get frustrated.” 

For some, frustration can be difficult to overcome. But I am sorry, there are two things in life men should not do no matter how they feel.

Men should not hit women and they should not hit children out of anger or for discipline reasons.

A couple of years ago a friend told me I was being too preachy here on Container Diaries.

Well if I’m sounding “preachy” today, I am sorry.

In the NFL there has been a few stories about domestic abuse. I am sure you have heard. (If not just Google Ray Rice, Greg Hardy and Adrian Peterson) but how can you not? It’s been all over the news.

Now, I am sure your parents back in the day did things their way and if you are a parent, you discipline your kids your way. (I often ask friends the difference in how you were raised and how you raise your own kids?)

I have a 15 year-old daughter and have been married for twenty-years. Not once have I ever thought of striking the two most important people in my life. I experienced this criminal behavior in my own home growing up – I learned from it despite what studies show. That someone who sees abuse as a child will be an abuser. That’s crap!

Have my wife and argued?


We’ve even raised our voices, of course, who doesn’t?

My daughter and I disagree on things too, she’s a teen! But hitting them? I don’t think so.

I totally understand things were different in the 1950’s, 1960’s, 1970’s and the 1980’s. This is 2014 people, to a man, you don’t put a finger on a child or a woman, I am sorry.

Only a coward hits a child.

A man doesn’t strike the woman that he supposedly loves.

Don’t get frustrated. It may lead to anger…


This entry was posted in Children, NFL, Wife and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to THE THINGS MEN DO…

  1. Maureen Rice (Flanagan) says:

    It is somewhat disheartening to see so many people sticking up for Adrian Peterson…saying that they were whipped and they turned out OK…he took a 4 yr old boy..pulled the leaves off the switch, stuffed them in the boy’s mouth. stripped him down and beat him til he bled…FOUR YEARS OLD…I just cannot wrap my head around why people think this is acceptable..I can see people swatting a kid on a clothed behind, or slapping the hand that goes too near the stove…but the level of violence in that beating…totally unacceptable

  2. bob terry says:

    Amen. I am speaking @ the gala for Good Shepherd Shelter for Battered Women & Children in October. Abusing women & children is absolutely wrong & its effects linger for a lifetime; it has no place in the family unit or society, and should not be tolerated. I was chairman of The Center for Reflective Parenting for three years & our mantra was reflect before you react; then react lovingly. This works in all relationships.

  3. Dan Falcone says:

    Well said Red. Great comments. Hopefully we’ve started to help break the cycle.

  4. TonyF16 says:

    And where is the Blow hard Reverend AL while all this is taking place? Has anyone noticed He’s a no show?

  5. jimmyvac says:

    I agree,, times have changed and you have to adapt. You can discipline your child by grounding them, taking car keys and time outs when they are little. As far as wives go, they are your life partners and should be treated as such, when you are angry to the boiling point,…. walk away. YOU ARE NOT PREACHY.. you take a stand for what is right and we all have to do so…

    • hoopscoach says:

      No doubt Jimmy…

      • bob terry says:

        In 1960, I had the privilege of meeting Jim Blair (at the time, Jim was a Xaverian brother called Brother Guardentus) @ Holy Name School. Jim had just finished the novitiate & Holy Name was his first assignment. Little did I realize in 1960 that we would be lifelong friends. After several years, Jim left the order, got married, had four children, moved to Florida, and continued teaching. He’s now retired & still married to his wonderful wife Sandy & has 11 grandchildren. Over the years, besides staying in touch, I vacationed @ his home in Florida, and he vacationed @ my home in California. When my mom died 14 years ago, Jim got on a plane & flew to Connecticut to be there for my mom’s services. I cannot express how much it meant to me. I know he stayed in touch with many Holy Namers over the years, including Bill & Rose Lang. I called Jim yesterday & was told by Sandy that Jim was suffering from parkinson’s disease & dementia. I ask all Holy Namers to keep Jim & his family in their prayers.

      • hoopscoach says:

        Thanks Bob, sorry to hear that.

        Jim is in my thoughts and prayers.

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