AFTER THE ANGER

Quote of the Day:

“Hurt people…hurt people.”  -Curtis Martin

As a kid and into my early 20’s, I was angry at the world!

I was often angry at my mother, brother, sister, and at times angry at my friends. I can’t forget about the anger geared towards my absent father.

I was angry at my cousins on Fuller Place, the girls in the neighborhood who didn’t like me and of course, my first girlfriend Maureen. I was angry at her parents too.

What I later learned was that I was angry at me!

Screaming at the Dolan Family from 10th avenue.

Cussing out Mrs. Deere, when I was 12; screaming at my 6th grade teacher Mr. Civello and of course acting out in such an awful way in the 8th grade when at the time I had the sweetest teacher in the world, Miss Hertell-Prescott.

While playing basketball for Holy Name I recall being at O.L.P.H. where i got ejected from the game and as I walked off the court to the locker room I told the crowd to “fuck off” ( I was in the 6th grade).

The days of yelling at my mom when I thought she was “giving me shit” and worst of all, the many nights I screamed at my girlfriend Maureen when all she was trying to do was “love me.”

Can you blame me?

There was so much screaming around our apartment on a daily basis. You know, it goes back to that term, “you’re a product of your environment.”

Thank God I turned the corner in my 20’s.

The light goes on for some people at different times in their lives.

The ball busters, the bullies, and the obnoxious; when does it all stop?

Bitterness and jealousy are two more poisonous traits that people carry inside them well into their adult lives. When does it end? You don’t know how many comments on the blog that I have had to block because people were upset at someone or something.

As for being a product of your environment? That is a true statement to an extent.

We all have the power to choose which path we take. We all have the power to choose how we treat others.

Some take the wrong path, some take the right one.

Problems arise at all ages; its how we deal with them that separates people.

Most important is you…it’s all on you to make the correct decisions in life.

So keep a cool stool.

Steve

HOOPS135@HOTMAIL.COM

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5 Responses to AFTER THE ANGER

  1. Pat Fenton says:

    Hi, Steve. After reading your piece, I thought you might like to read what the singer Harry Chapin went through as a child. This is part of an interview I did from a book I’m writing on him with the backing of his wife, Sandy. I just finished the manuscript. The interview is with Bill Ayres, Harry’s friend who is the head of World Hunger Year . Bill is a former priest. Harry had a rough childhood, but more important, like him, you made it.
    Pat
    On a fall afternoon in 1991, I headed up to the Garment District in Manhattan to the headquarters of World Hunger Year. James Chapin, Harry’s oldest brother, would be up in the office and he would join us in the interview.
    I brought along an exhaustive list of questions that I had carefully put together, and I was grateful by the way, Bill Ayres and Harry’s older brother, James, had the patience to answer them all with candid and honest answers.
    They left me with the impression that Harry Chapin’s talent, his beauty as a human being, was so great, so rare, that you had to include his weaknesses to fully understand him.
    It’s been over 20 years since I conducted that interview, but it’s a fitting place to start a story about Harry Chapin. As Shakespeare said, “what’s past is prologue.”
    PART ONE: REMEMBERING HARRY
    Bill, do you think that the relationship that Harry had with his stepfather, Henry Hart, which was not an easy one, inspired him to write some of the darker themes that showed up in his story songs?
    “ Yeah, but I think there’s something else that came through and that is Harry’s identification with the underdog. Harry’s identification with the little guy. With the person that is struggling to make some sort of sense out of the craziness of their life. And finding some sort of meaning.
    Harry could get inside those experiences. He could find the experiences first of all, get inside them and make them magical, so that you entered into those experiences with him.
    They were stories and as you heard the story, a part of it was the story of your life. That was part of Harry’s magic. He was a wonderful story teller.”
    How did he avoid passing along to his own children the mean spiritedness he experienced?
    “ He decided that he was going to break the cycle. If there was one thing that Harry Chapin was not, that’s mean spirited. He was not a violent person. He was a person who had been hurt. No doubt about that.
    And he had a great desire to help to heal. That’s why he did the music. To heal himself first of all (laughs softly). And then to help heal other people. And that’s why he got involved in hunger. That’s why he got involved in some of the causes that he felt so strongly about.”

    • hoopscoach says:

      Pat,

      That is fantastic!

      Thanks so much for sharing.

      Maybe not all “hurt people…hurt people?”

      Hope all is well at your end.

      Always great to hear from you.

      Steve

  2. Maureen Rice (Flanagan) says:

    Hurt people will always hurt people until they realize they can break that cycle- we have a lot more information about stuff like this than we had a couple of generations ago, when everything was kept hush-hush and people didn’t realize they were not alone in the circumstances of their childhoods- I am NOT blaming parents here, but I am saying we are, to a certain degree, a product of our environments, but we don’t have to be a victim of them- within ourselves we have the power to change our perspective..

  3. Joe Costantino says:

    Great stuff, as usual.

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